Bring your manners with your appetite By Tasha Neu Our economy may be in the gutter, but customers shouldn't leave their manners at home. Anyone in the restaurant business knows what it's like to have been stiffed on tips, especially in our current times. For example, as a waitress, when I am not given a tip it leaves me wondering: Was it my service or just someone's tight budget? It happened to me three times in one night. I began to wonder if I was a bad waitress. I gave equal service to two separate tables and received a great tip from one and no tip from the other. That left me confused. Many waitresses make $8 an hour. Some use this money to pay for college or for living expenses. It 's not easy to live off of minimum wage when you work part time. Frankly, if you can't afford to tip for service, order take-out or cook at home. Waiters work hard to give you good service, and not leaving a tip is the worst insult. A standard tip is 15 to 18 percent, or to make it easy, just double the tax and add a little extra. Consider how busy your server is and the several other tables they are helping without forgetting you. However, now and then there is the one exception where you do receive poor service. In that case, it is acceptable to leave less. And it's not like we are being paid strictly for serving food. We also do stocking, mopping, sweeping and, most of all, putting up with the public. At least have some manners, please. If you're planning a party, make reservations. Do not assume that a restaurant will accommodate a walk-in of 40 people on a Friday night. There is not "always room." If a "please wait to be seated" sign is present, please wait to be seated. Don't ignore this request and seat yourself anyway. We are usually busy and are not going to see everyone who arrives. Once you're seated, talk to your waiter. Not giving any feedback when they speak to you is not going to get you anywhere. It also helps to speak up. We are doing our best to hear you correctly and get your order right. When your food is not up to par, you have every right to complain. But do so in a civil manner. Yelling or raging in disgust is rude and probably not going to get you anywhere. Stay calm. We'll feel bad either way, but give you sympathy if you are polite. For your own sake, keep an eye on your children. Don't put them and others in danger by letting them play on the floor, where they could easily become an unseen hazard to servers carrying hot plates of food. Some kids can't handle sitting through a long dinner out on the town. But letting them run wild is not the best of ideas. Instead, bring some crayons and a coloring book or ask the restaurant if they have some available. If not, maybe take them outside for a few minutes. Although manners are common sense, all of the above things happen at least once a night in the locally owned business I've spent close to four years of my time in. I've seen it all in a restaurant known for accommodating large groups. If you're not going to tip, at least have the common decency to have some manners. • • • Vox is the newspaper of the 2009 CCNMA-San Diego Multicultural Journalism Workshop. Return to index | See also: Vox on Blogspot